Let’s be honest—snacking is an art form. But for every genius creation (hello, CTRL), there are some truly horrendous ideas that should have never seen the light of day.
We’re talking about the kinds of snacks that make you question how they even made it past the brainstorming phase. So, in honor of April Fool’s Day, let’s dive into the worst snack ideas of all time.
1. Crystal Pepsi
Someone at Pepsi really thought, “You know what people want? Pepsi, but… clear.” And somehow, they ran with it. Crystal Pepsi looked like sparkling water but tasted like regular cola, confusing consumers everywhere. It flopped hard, but like a bad horror movie, it somehow keeps coming back.
2. Cheetos Lip Balm
Yes, this was a real thing. Apparently, someone thought people wanted their lips to taste like processed cheese dust. Spoiler alert: They did not. If you’ve ever licked your fingers after eating Cheetos, you know that experience doesn’t belong on your lips 24/7.
3. Ketchup-Flavored Everything
Ketchup chips? Fine. Ketchup Pringles? Borderline. Ketchup-flavored soda? Absolutely not. Canada gave the world the gift of ketchup chips, but let’s not push it too far, alright?
4. Colgate Beef Lasagna
Colgate should stick to toothpaste. Back in the ‘80s, they thought launching a frozen lasagna would make people think of them beyond oral care. Instead, it just made everyone deeply uncomfortable. Nothing screams ‘delicious meal’ like the mental image of brushing your teeth right after.
5. Breath Mints That Taste Like Fish
There’s fresh breath, and then there’s fish breath. Some poor souls thought combining seafood flavor with mint would be a good idea. It wasn’t. It turns out no one wants their breath to smell like a low tide at a fish market.
6. Ranch-Flavored Soda
We love ranch dressing, but we don’t want to drink it. This abomination took the beloved salad topping and turned it into a fizzy nightmare. There are no words for the kind of tastebud betrayal this caused.
7. Lobster Ice Cream
Somehow, someone thought seafood and dessert should team up. If you’ve ever wanted your ice cream to taste like the ocean, congratulations—you’re in a very, very small club. The rest of us will stick to vanilla.
8. Heinz EZ Squirt Colored Ketchup
Purple. Green. Blue. Heinz really thought kids wanted their ketchup to look like it came from an alien. Instead, it made everything look slightly radioactive. Safe to say, nobody was sad when this one disappeared.
9. Lay’s Cappuccino Chips
Lay’s is known for experimenting with flavors, but this one was a crime against potatoes. Imagine dipping a fry into your morning coffee and thinking, “Yeah, this slaps.” No? Exactly.
10. Cookie Dough That’s Not Actually Edible
One of the best parts of making cookies is eating the raw dough. So when companies started selling “edible” cookie dough that somehow wasn’t actually safe to eat, people lost their minds. What’s the point if you’re still risking salmonella?
CTRL: A Snack That’s Actually Good
Luckily, not all snack ideas are disasters. At CTRL, we make sure our snacks actually slap. No weird gimmicks, no questionable flavor experiments—just protein-packed, nostalgic flavors that taste incredible. So, if you’re looking for a snack that *won’t* make you regret your life choices, you know where to find us.
